Sunday, July 02, 2006

Bolne bhi do yaaron

Sorry Kundan Shah(maker of Jaane Bhi do Yaaron), could not resist this lift. And sorry readers for writing Hindi in English.

Tarneja: Tumhara Singapore trip kaisa tha Mr Dmello

Dmello: Hum log abhi bhi bahut peeche hai. Yeh India Shining udhar ke saamne sirf ceema bulb hai, waha to poora suraj hai. Waha chalne ka rasta alag, gaadi ka rasta alag. Aur koi aadmi ya kutta raste pe nahi sota hai.

Tarneja: Lekin idhar bhi aaj kal Singapore ke tarah malls aur apartments hum bana rahe hai. Aur Singapore mein ek aadmi ki haalat yahake kutton se buri hai. Tum waha thook bhi nahi paate ho, lekin yaha kutta masti se tatti bhi kar leta hai.

Dmello: Oh Tarneja tum bhi kya bakwaas karta hai man. Singapore mein 2 building ke beech mein swimming pool hai aur tumhare paas ek bahta hua naala. Udhar woh log planned development karta hai, ek mall ke samne kabhi traffic jam nahi hota. Aur tum ho, In-arbit mall bana dete ho lekin uske bahar traffic terabit ho jata hai. Tum builder log sirf apna paisa ke bare mein kyon sochta hai?

Tarneja: Tumlog bhi to sirf paise ke bare mein sochte ho, janataa ka nahi.

Dmello: Tum bahut bolne laga hai Tarneja. Metro project main tumko nahi dega, Chhotani ko de denga.

Tarneja: Hum bhi tumhara kaafi khyal rakhte hai Dmello. Winks at his secretary who inches closer to Dmello.

Dmello: Accha hai. Bahut accha hai. Airport banao, Mall banao, metro banao. Lekin humara bhi fayda hon chahiye Tarneja.

Tarneja: Kyon nahi. Humne aapke liye Singapore se khaas Kaya toast mangvaya hai.

Dmello: Oh ye kaya toast jo Singapore ke har food court mein milta hai. Tumlog yaha pe foodcourt kyon nahi banata.

Tarneja: Yaha pe food courts ki koi zaroorat nahi hai. Humare Udipi bhaiyon ne ye market bahut pehle se capture kar liya hai.

Dmello: Udipi hotel me chhole aur sambhar ke beech mein jyada farak nahi hota hai. Foodcourt mein har cuisine ka exclusive taste to aata hai.

Tarneja: India mein foodcourt jyada chalte nahi hai. Kyunki ek to Indian consumer lazy hota hai. He likes to be served and wont drop his plates into the bin even at McD etc. Aur foodcourt franchisees in some places logon ka sar kha jaate hai by placing 10 menus in front of them and asking them to choose.

Dmello: Ye Indians bhi saale kabhi nahi seekhenge. Ghar ko saaf rakhenge lekin bahar bahut ganda karenge. Aur sarkaar se safai maangenge. Ye desh kabhi nahi sudhar sakta until deshwalen sudharenge.

Tarneja: Hum to sudhar rahe hai na. Tharre se Glenfiddich pe pahunch gaye. Tum bhi pahunch jao Dmello.

Dmello: Kya karega man. Ye Mumbai Shanghai kabhi banega to pata nahi. Lekin apun roadpati se karodpati zaroor banna chahta hai.

Suitcases are exchanged for contracts and the great Indian dream lives on.

Hum honge kamyaab. Hum honge kamyaab. Ek din. Ek din.

2 Comments:

At 5:47 AM, Anonymous dhruvank said...

I see that you havent even been out for 6 months (when you technically become an NRI) and have started India bashing, NRI ishtyle.

Apart from food courts and kaya toast, how is life treating you in Sing land?

 
At 7:09 PM, Blogger anish said...

great stuff! i could almost hear the anglo accent of satish shah 'dmello' while reading your piece. fine work!

 

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