Saturday, February 24, 2007

Munnabhai Circuit going global

Munnabhai(MB): Arre Circuit, tune suna kya...Tata ne koi orchestra company khareeda hai London mein... chorus mein gaane ke vaaste ..

Circuit(CK): Kya baat kar raha hai bhai...Lekin Tata wale to shaant kism ke log hote hai..woh log jyada band baaja nahi bajate hai...usme to apne Mittal Sheetal baap hai...

MB: Arre nahi re....aaj kal band baaja bahut zaroori ho gaya hai... aaj kal Govandi ka bachha bhi global banna chahta hai...

CK: Glo-baal bole to bhai ... yeh koi naya hair transplant hai kya jo Salman ne kiya hai kya...ya Dhoni ka koi naya gel ka ad aayela hai kya ?

MB: Arre Circuit, tu bhi na local ka local eech rahega... Dekh mein tereko samjhaata hai... Tereko yaad hai na apne dhande ka solid punter ...D company... Woh log Gulf mein sona, Bangkok mein drugs aur Mumbai mein hawala ka dhanda karta tha...
Matlab duniya ke kisi be koone mein sabse sasta aur badhiya maal uthaane kaa aur duniye ke best graahak ko bechna ka.... usse bolte hai global.....

CK: Lekin maamu apun global mein hafta vasooli kaise karega... apun ko sirf maa behen ki gaali aati hai...

MB: Arre Circuit, tereko kya lagta hai global matlab tu jaake London mein kaam karega..arre woh style purana ho gaya hai re...aajkal global matlab to gore chammdiyon se kaam karvayega unke company khareed ke..

CK: Sahi hai baap....matlab apun Bandra mein banian baithke order deyenga...aur woh log england mein suit pehen ke vasooli karega... apne ko toh yeh fantashtic idea lag raha hai...

MB: Tune Italian mafia ka naam suna hai... apun usko khareedna chahta hai...apun bhi global banega....

CK: Arre boss apun ne woh picture dekha tha godfather...maa kasam kya daring public hota hai ye log... idhar to producer ko phone lagao to uski phatti hai....unhone to poora ghode ke sar kaat diya tha...

MB: Isiliye to apun ko bhi vaisaayeech daring ban na padhega... saala cutting chai se cappucino peena padhega...

CK: Arre boss lekin woh to aajkal college ke bacchhe chumma chaati ke beech mein peete hai...apun woh sab nahi karega bhai..

MB: Woh sab baad mein dekhte hai...to ek kaam kar...apna ghoda le...aur nariman point jaa...udhar tereko mumbai ke khadakti dhoop kuchh gadhe suit aur tie aur sir pe teeka lagaye ghoom rahe dikhenge...woh is naye zamane ke global bhadve hote hai... company khareedne aur bechneke ki sadak ke betaaj badshah... kamayenge lakhon mein khaayenge daal roti thele mein ...ghoda dekhte hai pant mein tatti karenge saale... tu lekar aa unko fir apun dekh kya mast setting jamaata hai...

CK: Ok boss, apun leke aata hai un ded pasliyon ko... fir apun bhi dekhega ki karan johar london mein apun ke bina shooting kaise karta hai....

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Carcass of a vulturous pundit

Well there is a vulture who thinks madrasi chicks are not attractive as punju chicks. Arre deva re deva, kab sudharega yeh log.
Firstly the word madrasi. To most North Indians anything south of India is 'madrasi'. Well we know that that the Mughals raped your history but they left your geography intact right? ( the Hindi version puts Omkara to shame)
Now how much ever some North Indians may hate the South Indians , there is one economic fact which is conveniently forgotten. We talk a lot about India's growth rate of 9%. But if one does a state-wise analysis , the South Indian states have consistently outperformed the North Indian states. So because of North India and its lazy bunch, India cannot match China's growth rate.
The other problem is bechare they cannot participate in the great IT and BPO boom which has enriched many a South Indian. Many Punjjus cant code software programs because they lack basic logic. They cant work in BPOs since courtesy is something they have never learnt. Jobs are still getting Bangalored but not Amritsared. Especially a recruiter for a Fortune 500 staffing solution providers should know that.

Lastly there has been a steady deterioration of the so called premier blog portal called desipundit. Most references there smack of favouritism and catering to the least commonly accepted denominators. May be this was a method to create some cheap publicity and ring in the page views. With VC money pouring out of Nariman Points gutters, there might be some motive to for these desi dudes to cash out. Well if you still have the same good intentions you had while starting it, then lets see if you refer this post.

Maybe we need a new debate on what does desi mean? So if I say in a desi group in NY, that 'aaj desi khana khaate hai' does it mean naan with dal makhni or masala dosa with sambhar. Oye yaar pata hi nahi chalta; confusion hai ki racism hai ?