Sunday, November 16, 2008

The mess that muses me

The financial crisis is grating my nerves nowadays, not because my portfolio is down to abysmal levels but every tom, dick and henry(paulson if you missed that sitter) seems to have an opinion about it. I mean bar waiters talking about it is the last straw when you are not having a fancy cocktail but a rundown beer.
So here is it guys I thought I will make it simple and apply financial theory to everyday life so that masses can have a field day since the nightmares continue.
Assume that you want to get married to a hot chick but you dont want the risk of divorce. Well is there any insurance like that? Well apparently there was an instrument called a credit derivative. So if somebody did get divorced somebody else will have to pay for the alimony. There was a sophisticated model that told you what you had to pay for this kind of insurance based on your background, promiscuity parameters and financial muscle. This model assumed the universal principle of the total testosterone in the world remains constant and follows the second law of thermodynamics that further shows that everyone's probability of divorce can be converted into a matrix and calculated by anyone who is out of b-school and works in a bank for late hours since he doesnt have a girlfriend.
The problem with this model it that it hides the Johnny-cum-lately behind Linda's Goodman by using cherry picking and other myraid credit rating mechanisms. But nothing told them that there could be an orgy happening anytime or was it happening all the time. The orgy stops not because you run out of fluids but people defualt on the booze. So I guess you get the drift, since this blog is still not R-rated(ratings again) .
Finally one word of financial advice guys. NPV is what makes marriages work, sex is merely a cash flow issue.